(PEOPLE) -- In the months before her 2020 death from cancer, former teacher and convicted child rapist Mary Kay Letourneau had a lot of time to reflect -- and told some of the people close to her that she felt remorse about sexually abusing the 12-year-old student who later became her husband.
"At the end of your life, you start reassessing a lot of things," says a source, who received a letter from Letourneau about six weeks before she died. "And she was trying to make her peace, not only with everyone else, but with herself."
"The bottom line was that she understood on a very deep level that she had really made a mess of her life and the lives of many other people back in 1996," says the friend. "She realized that even though things turned out relatively good, that she was responsible for a wide swath of destruction by her actions. She apologized to a lot of people for a lot of things."
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